How we make money has become shorthand for who we are. Think about it... what is the first thing you ask somebody that you just met?

💭 What do you do for a living?

Then based on their answer we tend to judge them. We think if they are an engineer they have their life together but a cashier... not so much. That's messed up!

Simone Stolzoff warns in his book The Good Enough Job, that overidentifying with just one aspect of your life (like work) can be very dangerous.

🧶 Enmeshment

He talks about a concept called Enmeshment: when someone's interpersonal boundaries become blurred.

This is when a kid's self-worth is linked to their parent's validation or a friend's self-worth is linked to their career.

A major contributor to this is that work has become our social life, sole purpose, and our source of income. That's a lot of pressure!

🔨 Fix It

There are a few ways to prevent enmeshment from happening.

1. Do things other than work
2. Make friendships outside of work

🌟 Examples

Ok. That sounds easy, right? But I didn't learn this until years into working. Here are a few things I have done to get a life outside of work:

🎬 YouTube

I started my YouTube channel in April of 2020. I was 23 years old and about a year into my first job out of college.

Non-work related skills:

• Filming
• Photography
• Graphic Design
• Speaking
• Scripting/Writing
• Tech (Mics, Cameras, Recording)

💓 Volunteer

Over the last year or so I started volunteering at Habitat for Humanity. This has been the best way to meet people who are completely unrelated to work. You actually have to try to have a conversation, rather than relying on your mutual hatred toward a coworker lol.

Non-work related skills:

• Caulking
• Insulation
• Drilling
• Putting in blinds
• Painting

💼 Business

I filed for an LLC business license in November of 2021 at age 25. But what most people don't know is that I didn't really have a business yet. I only knew I wanted to run a business, but I hadn't even made a single dollar - talk about betting on your future self! 😅

Non-work related skills:

• Finance
• Marketing
• Sales
• Accounting

To be fair... these are all "productive" things to do outside of work. But it doesn't have to be productive! You could hike, ski, climb, and bike around outside. Hang out with friends or family. Just do (and talk about) something other than work.

🔎 Behind The Scenes

I am working hard on my next book review: Big Potential - I think it's the best video I have made so far!

Recently I have been migrating all my work notes out of Notion and into Microsoft Loop. I am going to make a video comparing the two software. Microsoft even retweeted my latest video on Loop - which made my week!

🎬 Full Video

Here is the full video if you are interested in checking it out!